Category Archives: Manifesting

What’s Wrong With Me?

“What you are regarding as bad or wrong in this instance or any other is really just guidance that you are judging because it is what you have learned to do.” 

Few things can leave us as drooping in the dust the way a relationship gone awry can. When love goes off course or comes to a crashing halt it’s one of the worst feelings in the world and can leave us standing either in front of our partner—or a mirror (often they’re one and the same)—declaring “You suck.”

Having had what feels like at least my fair share of those particular blues over the course of my lifespan to date, I wondered to myself and then to The Shower Team, “Why do I seem to keep missing the mark here? What’s wrong with me that I keep getting it so wrong?”

The first thing we would say in response to that question is that what’s “wrong” (your word, not ours) is the question you are asking.  That is, what’s wrong or misguided is your belief that something is wrong in general or wrong with you, which you will never get us to agree with. 

We understand that you have experienced or observed something in the context of a relationship that is unpleasant or uncomfortable or discouraging for you and that is calling you forward to something better that you desire.  And we get that the gap between where you are and where you desire to be feels uncomfortably wide in such moments.  

That is, you don’t like the way that you are holding yourself (and we promise you that you are) back from the joy that your Higher Self or Soul or whatever you wish to call Who You Really Are clearly understands is yours to have.  You don’t like the way you’re thinking about you or your situation right now because the way you’re thinking is not the way Source thinks about you.  That discrepancy or disagreement with yourself never feels good. 

And so, in other words, what is ‘wrong’ with you that is not really wrong is the way you are choosing to label or judge what you are observing.  And the moment that you allow yourself to choose a different way of observing and thinking about what you are choosing, you will feel the relief you always feel when you recognize that what you think is wrong is really just information that you are interpreting in a particular way, usually a way that you have trained yourself into and which you barely even recognize as your choice. 

Even though it doesn’t feel like a choice, we assure that it is, just as we assure you that other choices are available to you.  What you are regarding as bad or wrong in this instance or any other is really just guidance that you are judging because it is what you have learned to do. 

In other instances you do not judge such guidance.  You do not, as a rule, see a sign on the highway that says you are further from your destination that you realized and conclude “Oh something must be terribly wrong with me for not being there yet or for not being further along than I am.” 

But in this specific area of your life-in your close connections with others—you do exactly that.  Instead of simply acknowledging the information you’ve been given as evidence that you have not yet caught up with where your desire is taking you, that you are not quite there yet, you stop and criticize where you are and blame yourself (or your partner) for being there when all you really need to do is see where you are, feel the direction that you’re being called toward and choose the steps and the point of view that moves you in that direction. 

You instantly know what moves you in the ‘right’ direction by how it feels to turn that way.  If the way you or your relationship is going or has gone feels wrong then it is only because you are thinking something about that relationship or about you or your partner that is not in agreement with how Source is thinking. 

What does Source think about you or your problem or your relationship?  We can assure you that what Source is never thinking is that you or he or she or it is ‘wrong’.  What Source is thinking is that you have created something wonderful and fulfilling through the purity of your desire and if you will just pay attention to the guidance you are receiving and move in the direction of the desire that calls to you, neither you nor your partner nor your relationship or even the ending of your relationship will feel wrong to you.  In fact, you will see—and be amazed at—just how remarkably right it all is for the way that it is pointing you toward the joy still ahead of you.

So, the only thing wrong with me is my feeling that something’s wrong with me? Sort of sounds like being told it’s crazy to wonder if you’re crazy. I do know that I have an unerring tendency to go in the opposite direction from my intended destination. Just follow me in and out of stores at any mall.

With all due respect to The Team, the message has that “easier heard than felt” feeling to it. “Words that wiggle a bit” you might say. So for now I’m off to have my compass checked—and while I’m at it, to once again question most of my assumptions.

Parting aFLOWmation: “Wrong is the other right.”

For more information about The Shower Channel blog please visit my home page.  Previous posts are available in the Archives.  Contact me if you have questions/topics you would like The Shower Channel to address–or to request a private reading/consultation.
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Tall Trees and Shaky Ladders

'Wisdom' and Other Words To Live By From a Wet-Behind-The Ears Oracle

I had a dream some time ago where I was on a ladder that was positioned next to a very tall tree so that I could reach out and selectively pick different varieties of branches and leaves and flowers and hold them in my hand.  But as I was reaching for these bunches of leaves and flowers I became very aware of how shaky the ladder felt and that I was very nervous about falling. 

In the dream, I asked The Shower Team if it would be possible for me to be up at that height and to feel absolute confidence in the ladder supporting me, to know that it would hold and that I was in no danger of falling.  In the dream I heard Them say that I could absolutely get myself to such a place of certainty and self assurance where I could reach for anything that I wanted without fear of failing or falling, that I could know that I was always supported, no matter what I was reaching for.

The dream stayed with me, and so I later asked The Team to elaborate on the subject of shaky ladders—and how to get over my fear of reaching for the heights.

When you stand in your now, reaching for something that you want and you suddenly feel shaky or uncertain or worried about whether you can effectively reach the object of your desire, you have either temporarily forgotten what you know—which is that nothing you want is ever truly out of reach—or you have not practiced enough the belief that you are always supported in your reaching for anything that you desire.

In the dream you experienced, the shaky ladder represents on some level what you are allowing yourself to know or believe about you.  That feeling of the ladder being wobbly or unreliable or unsecured is your perception of you not having what it takes—or more precisely—you’re not being entirely worthy of what it is that you are reaching for.

This kind of uncertainty or insecurity or doubt is always a lapse of memory on your part, or some temporary focusing of your attention away from what you know about yourself when you are seeing You clearly—that is, seeing you through your connection to Source.  You cannot look at yourself through the eyes of Source and feel doubtful or nervous or shaky in your conviction that anything you want is available to you.  You cannot look at yourself through the eyes of Source and feel anything but worthy and capable and confident that the Universe will yield to you whatever your heart desires.

So when these feelings are present . . . when the ladder you are standing on feels wobbly or unsupported . . ..   you need only find a way to remind yourself that you are never alone in your reaching, that the always benevolent, always supportive forces of the Universe are all around you, holding you up, providing the safe and secure platform from which anything  you are reaching for is yours to have. 

How do you remember this when the shaky or wobbly ladders is what is most on your mind?  The approach is always the same—to look around at anything that offers you relief or a reason to relax back into what you know.  Scan your environment for cues and clues and evidence of how you are supported.  Reach for memories that provide reassuring reminders that all is well and that things usually work out for you.  Look around for any indication of your being where you need to be, and of your desires coming to you in the way and in the time that works best for you.

Recognize that it is always what you know or believe about you that provides the foundation for what you are able to ask for and receive.  If your ladder feels shaky as you are reaching out toward the tree branches for something that you want, take some time to remember any and every success that you have experienced in your past . . . Take the time to review all the reasons that you have for believing that you are capable and deserving of your dreams and desires.  Allow yourself the time to practice feeling strong and secure, collecting evidence of that fact and then relaxing into the knowledge—the view—of you that is a match to the You that Source always sees.

Finally—and perhaps most important—allow yourself to remember and to know that in fact, you can never really fall or fail.  Your fears about this are always illusions.  The vulnerability that you feel in any situation is never more than an indication that you have turned your attention in the opposite direction from what You know.  As soon as you focus again on the well being that You know is always flowing, your fear is what falls away, leaving you free to joyfully and confidently reach for whatever height you are aspiring to.

I’ve always had a fear of unenclosed heights and of ladders in particular—so The Team knows that this is a tricky topic for me.  But, curiously perhaps, I also love to be up in high places with awesome views of nature or city skylines.  I love the thrill of looking down from some safe height, taking in the sights and sounds of a world that from that vantage point always feels more like mine for the taking.

The message here seems to be that I have seen the shaky ladder and it is me.  So now I guess I need to go looking for those reminders that I’m not nearly as wobbly as I sometimes let myself believe—or maybe just keep telling myself that I’m never up there without a net.

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