Stop Trying

“You did not make a mistake when you were born that you need to correct.”

Image by Cher Odum

Is it just me or does it seem at times that there is a diminishing point of returns on effort?  I look back over my journals sometimes and am alternately embarrassed or appalled at how many pages have been filled with intentions, goals, prayers and pleas, statements of desire and determination to ‘self improve’ or ‘self develop’ or hit some new high in any or all of life’s arenas.

I look at the list of books on my Kindle and wonder how many gurus I’ve helped to feed or send on vacations only to keep filling up those journal pages with my statements of desire, intentions, goals, prayers and pleas . . .

I’m not knocking personal growth.  I’ve devoted a huge chunk of my life to it and have counted some hugely profound and pivotal shifts and transformations among the hours spent combing the pages of this or that personal development book or blog, journaling and otherwise contemplating my navel.

But every so often I stop and ask myself, “How much more of this will it take for me to feel like my self no longer needs improving?  When do I get to look in the mirror and just say, “Me likey.”  When do I get to stop trying to be better than I am?

How bout now?

We would suggest that there is no time like the present to stop trying.  Just stop.  Stop what you could legitimately call this insanity.  Because that truly is what this is—crazy making.


You have been trying so hard for so long that you don’t remember what it feels like not to try.  You’ve been trying to please.  Trying to understand.  Trying to ‘grow’. Trying to learn.  Trying to be ‘aware’.  Trying to be in this relationship or that.  Trying to succeed.  Trying to listen.  Trying to put yourself together in some way that resembles some image of you that you’re forming as you read or listen to everyone’s elses’ ideas about who or what or how you should be. 

Stop trying. 

Stop trying to be wise.  Stop trying to be aware.  Stop trying to be creative.  Stop trying to be worthy.  Because as long as you continue trying to be or do or have all these things you are really only succeeding in living the lack of these things as you perceive it. 

You don’t try to be what you already are.  You just BE it.  You don’t try to be loving—you just love.  You don’t try to be giving—you just give.  You don’t try to be worthy—you just ARE. 

You will never be able to try hard enough to do or be or have what you think you need to feel the joy or peace that you think you lack or are wanting to feel—wanting to feel it because you are trying to hard to have it and trying so hard to have it because you’ve forgotten you were never without it. 

Stop trying. 

There is no one to please.  No one to convince.  No one to persuade that you are loved or that you are worthy, except the one who is trying so hard to be lovable and worthy. 

You did not make a mistake when you were born that you need to correct.  You are not an error.  Nothing broke when you came forth that you need to find a way to repair.  Release this lie, that you must earn your keep in this Universe, that you have fallen short and must make up for what you did or for what you didn’t do or for what you don’t know. 

You look at you and see the Prodigal in the story so many of you know and like to re-tell . . .  see someone who somehow went astray.  You see a mistake, a wrong, a deficiency, a sin.  But your ‘Father’ or “Mother’ or Spirit or God or Goddess or Source or Universe or whatever you choose to call All That Is, sees you pausing—broken, tired, beaten down from all your trying—and literally runs to you with open arms and vast open heart, with everything you thought you’d lost and needed to win back or to earn or to learn and simply says ,”Welcome home my son . . .  my daughter . . . you are so loved.” 

Stop trying to deserve to go home.  Open your eyes—you’re already there.

Sometimes—often in fact—I stick my tongue back in my cheek after the Team responds to whatever I’ve lobbed into their court that day.  Among many other things, they’re good sports and they enjoy a good laugh as much as any of us.

But now and then all I can think of to say to them—all I can feel or offer in response to the way that they turn in my direction and truly ‘shower’ me with something I can only describe as love . . .  is the sincerest possible ‘Thank you’.

Parting aFLOWmation: What else is there to say?  “Stop trying.”

For more information about The Shower Channel blog please visit my home page. Previous posts are available in the Archives. Contact me if you have questions/topics you would like The Shower Channel to address–or to request a private reading/consultation.


About Dan

Published novelist, poet, essayist, copywriter, photographer and college educator. Visit me at

Posted on August 26, 2012, in Channeling, Creating Your Own Reality, Deliberate Creating, Empowerment, Faith, Healing, Inspiration, Joyful Living, Love, Self Development, Spirituality, Well being, Wholeness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Shirley T. Stone

    Dan, I really enjoyed this aticle. Like all of your comments. Even at my age, I can remember me asking myself some of the same questions or thinking some of the same comments. I believe most people probably feel this way at sometime in their life. I am always amazed when I read many of your articles. I am sure your words of wisdom will reach out to those that read this and will feel good about who they are. Very proud of my son. Mom

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