The Shower Channel Redux: Why Are We Doing This?
If you’ve read or been a subscriber to The Shower Channel, then you may already know the story of how I first came to tune in to my merry band of guides, angels, teachers, helpers, healers, and other nonphysical friends who collectively call themselves “The Shower Team” (due to the fact that I first starting having these dialogues with them in the shower.
You can read more of that story in the “First Words From the Flow” post archived here. Or you can simply accept that on some level I talk to dead people, among others, or as they like to say, “as dead it gets” . . . and that they tell me ways to gain some valuable clarity about my life and more important, ways to feel better about the life I’m living.
When I first began to write as The Shower Channel, I posted a message titled, “Why Are We Doing This?” that addressed some of my reasons for beginning the blog and more important, for deciding to put my channeled (or ‘Danelled’) self out there for anyone to see.
It was a little scary to take the words I was hearing and the messages I was receiving and to offer them to others in any public way, shape, or form. I wasn’t sure I had a good answer to the age-old question: “Why should anyone care what I had to say?” I started asking myself about my motives. I wondered, why am I doing this?
Several months later as I was wondering about my motives for resuming the blog, I went back to that earlier post and found these words from The Team . . .
When you are feeling good . . . when you receive something that delights you or something happens to you that thrills you . . . there is always the accompanying desire to share that good news, to celebrate it out loud . . . to have company over to appreciate it with you and for you. Some might raise an eyebrow and comment upon the virtue of modesty but we say that modesty is highly overrated. Humans are the only creatures on the planet who worry about strutting their stuff.
So call this what it is: you throwing a party for yourself because you’re feeling so good about what you’re getting. Recognize that really the only thing of true value that you have to offer is to be an example of how good it can get and how great it can feel and how available the good stuff is to anyone who asks and lets themselves receive.
Keep in mind that the birth and unfolding presence of joy is always a good enough reason to make an announcement and to pass out the cigars. Party on.
If you happen to be one of the lovely, lovable, and devoted souls who used to tune in regularly to hear messages from The Shower Team you probably couldn’t help but notice that the messages stopped appearing around six months ago.
Among the reasons for that were some significant changes in this wet-behind-the-ears Oracle’s life: a new relationship . . . a move . . . an increased work load . . . the kinds of nitty gritty changes that can easily nudge one’s train a bit off its track. But as you also might have guessed, there was more.
I call it the “Who Am I?” syndrome. It’s a surprisingly common malady characterized by an inflammation of self-doubt and escalating feelings of unworthiness. In severe cases a kind of paralysis can result, effectively immobilizing and rendering mute even those who’ve been known for their movement and ability to express themselves clearly.
In my case it was accompanied by the recurring and uncomfortable sensation that while the things I was saying sounded great, I was having a helluva time putting them into practice in any way that seemed to be producing discernible results.
Like any respectable and misguided seeker, I wrestled for quite a while with the question and all its potentially paralyzing implications-until it occurred to me that there might be a perspective I hadn’t considered-from a Source that had yielded pretty useful points of view in the past. So I took the question, “Who am I?” to the Team . . .
We like the question very much but we’re not so crazy about most of the answers that you come up with for it. More often than not what you are actually asking is “Who do I think I am?” and it is your excuse to belittle yourself to the point where you barely have a leg left to stand on. It’s almost as if you are craving some form of self-abuse, an opportunity to feel as bad about you as you possibly can.
It will start with comparisons-always an unfortunate beginning-where you look around at what others are doing or saying or thinking and with your keen eye for spotting standards you feel you can’t measure up to, you begin to collect the data that will support your hypothesis that you’ve got nothing of real value to offer anyone else or that you are simply too far behind any measurable curve to ever catch up and that the best thing you can do under these or most other circumstances is simply keep your mouth shut and try not to draw any unnecessary attention to yourself.
It’s a pity because the initial question: “Who do I think I am?” could just as easily be the opportunity for you to create an avalanche of appreciation . . . to literally bring down the poorhouse that you’ve constructed for yourself and to stand where you are, looking at what is-looking at who You really are-and wondering why you’ve kept quiet about it for so long.
We would have you take out your horn and blow. We would have you crow like . . . a crow. We would have you sing to high heaven (if there really were such a place) . . . we would have you preen and primp and strut and shake your tail feathers until you exhaust yourself from self-loving.
As usual, we’re exaggerating to make a point-and the point is that you rarely come close to any sort of accurate response to the question “Who am I?” It is typically your entry point into a dark place where you can barely see the hand in front of your face. It is the basement where all the bones of discontent and dissatisfaction and self-deprecation lie. It is your excuse for not allowing yourself to see the bright and blessed being that you are. It is your excuse for keeping quiet when you have every right to sing. It is your excuse for being still when you have every reason to dance. It is your excuse for hiding You away from you-and away from all those who would benefit by really seeing or hearing or being around you.
Here is perhaps the chief error in your thinking about all this-that is, that you are responsible for the responses. You actually believe that it’s your job to see that benefit comes as a result of your actions. You actually believe it’s your responsibility to “make a difference”. Somewhere along the way someone did a bang-up job of convincing you that you are obligated to “give back” or to “make a contribution” or to hold yourself responsible in any way for what anyone else thinks or says or does-or how they respond to anything you say or do.
An even trickier part of this puzzle is your own tendency to believe-because you’ve been practicing these thoughts for so long-that your life-that YOU-are only as good as your last achievement . . . that you’re only as worthwhile as the difference you see your life making to others . . . or even the difference you see it making to you.
You’ve learned the lessons well about the value of your life experience being largely dictated or determined by everyone but you and/or by whatever effects or results you see coming about because of your effort. You look in the mirror and no matter what you think, if someone else doesn’t approve of the reflection, then you decide there’s something wrong with it. You offer yourself in some way, you give of the resources that you’ve been given, you share some piece of the beauty that is in your soul, you create something lovely to you . . . and then you wait for someone else to pronounce it-and you-unworthy.
It seems that it is nearly never enough for you to just be you, doing whatever feels good to you, offering whatever it is you love to offer, being whatever it delights you to be. And we want to keep asking you when you’ve put yourself or some creation of yours out there: How did it feel to offer it? To create it? To share it? How does it feel coming forth from you and going out to whomever it goes out to? What was it like for you-the act of giving or sharing or creating or speaking or doing whatever it was you offered-BEFORE you stopped to wonder or worry how it would go over with anyone else? Because THAT is the key. . . that is the answer to your question: “Who do I think I am?”
The answer to that question is, that you are the loving creator of all that you offer, all that you share, all that you create, all that you speak . . . It is all an offering of love, coming from the truly loving being that You are . . . and it does not matter one fat rat’s rear what anybody else thinks of it or says about it or does with it. It is the energy-pure and sweet-flowing to and through you in the act of creation, the act of being who You really are and freely and justifiably loving it-that matters.
I always love when They reach for the loftiest of metaphors to make a point. Maybe it just takes hearing the words to see what a rat’s rear I was really being by keeping my mouth shut when there was so much wanting to be said.
In any case, I/We’re baaaack! Whether you are a faithful reader or a brand new visitor, the Team and I offer a warm welcome and the hope that you will find something of value in what is shared here, not as some manual or guidebook for your life but rather as a loving work in progress–my life as I’m experiencing it and any insights that I’m able to receive about it.
It feels so good to be back in touch this way with my own connection to Source-and if anyone else cares to listen, well that’s cool too. It leaves me feeling like there’s much more where all this came from . . . and that leaves me feeling eager and closer to complete than I’ve felt in quite some time.