In addition to what may appear to some as my more ‘other worldly’ pursuits, I have also functioned from time to time as a personal or life coach. In fact I’ve had a little coaching practice running off and on for a while, called “Success Alliances” and one of my favorite questions to ask new or potential clients has always been, “How would you like to succeed?”
Since most if not all the words that leave my mouth or pen or keyboard these days seem to have that boomerang, come-back-and-bite-me-in-the-ass thing going on . . . it should have come as no surprise when I found myself asking myself that very question not too long ago. It was on a day when feelings of success seemed to be successfully eluding me, and so I turned first to myself to ask the question . . . and then to The Shower Team for what I was sure would be a much better answer.
From the broader, nonphysical perspective, this is one of the most important questions you will ever ask, because the answer to the question: How do I define success is one of the clearest possible indicators of your alignment—your connection or disconnection—from who You really are.
For most of you, success is defined in terms outside yourself. Most of you look around at and listen to what everyone else is labeling “successful” and you shrug and say, “Well I guess that must be it,” and with very little real or conscious thought, you start chasing the same stuff. Some of you, of course, realize sooner or later that you need to put a little more thought into the whole idea—particularly as you manage to acquire some of that same stuff only to find that it comes up short for you somehow.
But even in the efforts that you sometimes make to find a different perspective on the topic, to uncover different criteria for what “success” means . . . .you often continue to look for your criteria everywhere but the one place that it truly resides: in your own connection to Source. You seek it in any and every sort of relationship you can think of . . . you look for it in books (or blogs). . . you search for ways to redefine your terms—which is fine—but you will look virtually everywhere other than the one place where you will ultimately find it.
We do not judge your desires. We do not categorize your dreams according to level of worthiness . . . unlike those of you who dole out awards of one sort of another . . . we do not stage contests where there are first and second and third prizes and honorable mentions. You are the ones who decide that one form of success is better than another. You are the ones who decide—and agree together—that you will hold one kind of achievement in higher esteem than some other. You are the ones who compare yourselves to each other according to the rather arbitrary—and often meaningless—standards that you have accepted as ‘real’.
So it is never ‘our’ judgment that you feel when you look at yourself and feel that you are not enough. What you are always—always—feeling in those instances, is your own recognition of some way in which you have wandered off from the knowledge of who You really are and what really matters to you.
And we would suggest to you that “success” is never more than a step or two away from wherever you have wandered off to. Success is always as close as your decision to turn around and see yourself as You really are. Success is always as close as the connection you always have access to . . . the connection to well being that always abounds . . . the connection to guidance that always flows . . . the connection to your own knowing that you are blessed, bright, loving and loved beings.
Success is yours by birthright. Success is yours to define in any way you choose—however, success will only feel like success to you, when it comes in the form of what truly lines you up with who You really are. Success in any other terms—by anyone else’s definition—will ultimately fall flat, leave you cold, fail to satisfy you . . . because success by anyone else’s definition, has nothing— NOTHING—to do with You.
So instead of spending your time and energy and giving your attention to the criteria others have chosen for defining success . . . spend your time and energy and give your attention to questions about what will let you ‘feel’ successful. Never mind how anyone else might judge that answer. Pretend that you are the only one who gets to ask and answer that question for you (because—guess what—you are). Decide what success would feel like to you. Decide why that feeling or why that accomplishment or why that action would let you feel successful.
Get absolutely clear about what a successful you would look and feel like to You. And we promise you, that once you have answered those questions for yourself and tucked that knowledge under your arm, you can go forward with such power, with such clarity, with such authority, with such creativity, wish such exhilaration and eagerness and joy . . . that the world—the Universe—will truly feel like your oyster.
When you know what success means to you . . . when you have the clearest possible vision of that for your life . . .when you have defined your criteria—nobody else’s—for what a successful you feels like . . . nothing and no one can hold you back from the fulfillment of that desire. Your “success alliance’ with the YOU you really are is truly a partnership—a marriage—made in Heaven. It can’t fail you. It can’t fall apart—as long as you remember and believe that what you know–who you are—is what matters most to you.
So . . . what does “success” feel like to you?
I think that’s what we like to call coaching the coach—or maybe “Higher Self Coaching”. In any case, they sure know how to slip the shoe on the other foot. At the risk of spending even more time talking to myself than I already do, it never hurts to be reminded that I really am the only author or editor or my own story whose opinion counts. Regardless of what the critics may say, it’s my story to write. I get to decide what makes for a good plot or a happy ending.
So in my ever growing list of notes to Self, I now add one about remembering that whenever I’m feeling the lack of success . .. it pays to ask whose idea of success I’m feeling the lack of . . . and if it’s mine—and only if it’s mine . . . then I need to remember what that idea was in the first place, decide if it’s still the story I’m wanting to tell . . and go forward from there with my partners–Me, Myself, and I. And of course, Them.
Knowing I’m part of that kind of success alliance leaves me feeling that much closer to something resembling real success . . . and if not quite a complete success . . . then at least, for the moment, more successfully complete.