Dead Men (and Women) Talking

What better time than Halloween—and Samhain—to wonder about the dear and departed? A very special, spiritually aware friend of mine surprised me recently by commenting that she has a very difficult time dealing with death and loss. I doubt many of us covet the experience or rank it among our faves—even if it does have a fixed spot on all our Must Do lists. But are our only choices to fear or worry or otherwise resist the idea—and those who’ve already experienced it?

Not too long ago I was browsing at a local Barnes and Noble and I happened to notice a book on the shelf by real-life psychic and medium Alison Dubois, whose life is the basis for the hit TV series “Medium.” I wasn’t really looking for a book on mediumship so I passed it over. When I did, one of the books fell off the shelf at my feet. When I knelt down to pick it up, another (same book) fell off the shelf, hitting me on the head. Before I could pick up the second book, another fell off at my feet, and then another . . . and then another . . until there were five or six of them in a pile on the floor at my feet. People were sitting around watching this spectacle with their mouths hanging open.

Well I don’t need six books to fly off a shelf and hit me in the head to know when I’m being given a message. I bought the book, “We Are Their Heaven: Why The Dead Never Leave Us.” And as I read it I began to wonder more and more about what the dead really mean to us. Eventually I asked The Team, what might the dead have to say to us if we were willing to ask—and able to hear?

The first thing the “Dead” would likely tell you if you asked is that the word “dead” that you use to describe those who have transitioned back to nonphysical has very little to do with those who have made their transition or with the connections with them that are still available to you.

There is a finality, a black-or-white, either-or connotation to that word you use that is pretty far from what is actually going on when you withdraw your attention from your physical experience. The “Dead” are as alive in some respects as anyone physically walking on your planet—and in ways, more alive than most. The “Dead” are as much a part of the eternally flowing stream of consciousness as any you would call “Living” even if they are not present or apparent to you in ways you can perceive with your physical senses.

You are eternal beings and the “Dead” know this better than most of you still having a physical experience. They are part of the stream of well being that always flows—in fact they are so immersed in that stream of pure positive energy that they experience none of the separation or disconnection from it that is so often true for those of you still hanging around in physical bodies.

With regard to what they might tell you or what they have to say to you . . . the Dead would—and do—say to you all the time that they are with you . . . that they are available to you . . that connection with them is not only possible but desired and desirable to the extent that you recognize that their existence is now integrally part of that stream, that joyful current that is always flowing. They are as accessible to you as you are able to plug in to that current and to tune in to the frequency of joy that they are always a part of.

Your legends and fairy tales and folklore often portray the dead as forbidding in some way, as frightening or dangerous . . . Your stories about them often present them as haunting you when in fact, no one ever haunts you but yourself. Believe us when we say that the “Dead” all have much better things to do than waste time bugging any of you . . . and in fact they (We) find that whole idea rather entertaining—as will all of you when you make the same transition.

We get that it makes for stimulating and spooky tales to offer these ideas of the forbidding or ghoulish or restless dead . . . But we assure you no such Dead man or woman exists. What you call death is the purest and easiest and most delicious re-entry into pure positive energy that anyone could imagine. It has been said—because it’s true—that if you had any idea how sweet “Death” really is, you’d all be jumping off bridges.

If you wonder what the “Dead” can tell you . . . if you wonder what message they might have for you, then we encourage you to ask. It’s far simpler than most of you think and requires no special skill or training—only the desire and the willingness to receive in response to your asking.

If someone you love has transitioned back to nonphysical, he or she is still as ‘with you’ in ways as they ever were—in fact more with you in the sense that he or she now has no resistance holding them apart from a pure positive connection with you. Indeed, you can have much better, much more loving, more fulfilling relationships with loved ones (or hated ones) after their transition than you frequently were able to have when they walked with you on the planet.

If you want to feel that connection with someone, reach for the happiest, most pleasing, most satisfying memory or thought of that person that you can find. Remember or imagine something about them that you loved or cherished or were amused by. Revisit an experience with them that made you smile or laugh or feel content. Move yourself into a feeling space where that one you loved is on your mind and in your heart in a way that warms and satisfies.

We promise you, they will meet you there, at your request. To whatever extent you can believe and expect them to join you . . . they will respond to your invitation. They will hear and answer your questions. And most important . . . they will fill you with the very best, the most perfect expression of loving—and recognizable—connection that you could want.

Those you love remain those you love, even when they’ve left behind the body that they occupied. Recover and reclaim—or reinvent—your connection with them and the one you knew and loved will be as present, as available, as eager to be with you as you want them to be.

From that standpoint, any day—or night—can be Halloween. The veil is only as thick, as opaque or as impenetrable as you believe it to be. Let those you love who are no longer physically present, show you just how present they still are and always will be. You don’t have to wait until the end of October—or for a book to hit you in the head—to enjoy a relationship with the very living Dead.


Leave it to The Team to make ghosts seem cuddly as kittens. Oh–and the pumpkin-colored Halloween font was Their idea.

I still don’t know exactly what that whole Barnes and Noble book fiasco was about, but lately I have had some pretty interesting and even enjoyable ‘visits’ with some ‘gone but not gone’ friends. My own reflection scares me more than any of them.

Clearly we get what we believe, on some level. If Halloween and the dead who are often celebrated on that occasion are scary to you, then a séance may not be the best idea you’ve ever had. On the other hand, if reconnecting with someone you love and want to feel close to again sounds like just what the witch doctor ordered . . . . then I highly recommend it as an experience that can leave you feeling not creeped out, but comforted . . . not spooked but inspired . . . and for those lovely moments when you’re willing to see the veil for the transparent and permeable piece of fabric that it is . . . sweetly complete.

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About Dan

Published novelist, poety, essayist, photographer and college educator. Visit me at www.firstadream.com.

Posted on November 1, 2007, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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