The Trouble With Conditions
Do you ever feel like no matter how much you try . . . no matter how faithfully you strive to believe in whatever it is you’re trying to believe in . . . no matter how diligently you follow whatever rules you hold to be true about the way to shape your life into something that you love . . . that you still come up short?
Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, no matter how much you practice what you’ve learned, no matter how thoughtfully or hopefully or earnestly you go about trying to create a reality that pleases you. . .. that sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want. . . that sometimes . . . some aspect of where you are or what’s going on just sucks—and nothing you do really seems to do much to change it?
I’d like to say I never hit those kinds of lows, that my positive approach is as bulletproof as Superman’s chest, that no pothole in the road no matter how deep or wide can cause me to veer off course, that no stretch of stormy weather can wash out my sunny disposition . . . but that would be your basic load of crap.
Sometimes I don’t get it. Sometimes all I can feel is doubt or discouragement or frustration. Sometimes no matter what I’ve heard from “Them” or what I believe at my core or what I’ve seen or experienced as evidence in the past . . . .I feel like I don’t have a clue. Sometimes I don’t feel like I could deliberately create my way out of a paper bag. Sometimes, I stand in the shower and I pound the walls. Sometimes I just stand there and cry. And so I asked . . . why?
When you stand in that place, feeling those feelings of despair or discouragement or frustration, what so often happens is that you misinterpret what those feelings mean. Instead of recognizing the guidance that they are offering to you—powerful signals to you of the way that you have removed yourself, intentionally or not, from well being—you interpret them as indicators of failure on the part of the Universe to deliver to you what you want . . . or failure on your part to receive from the Universe what you have asked for. You judge yourself for feeling what you feel rather than letting those feelings show you the way back to what you always know on some level—that well being abounds no matter what conditions you are observing or participating in.
Many times what leaves you feeling so bad in the first place is the way that your desires often become the conditions that you try to impose upon well being. You decide that you want something or don’t want something, which is a good thing because that desire is what summons life force energy through you and moves you forward in the direction of your own becoming, your own expansion. But then your tendency is also to decide that well being must be contingent upon the receiving of that desire. You essentially say to yourself, “My joy depends upon getting what I want or changing what I want to change. . . “ You essentially make well being contingent upon your timeline for the fuifillment of
that desire for yourself.
What we keep wanting you to understand is how backwards that approach is. We keep wanting you to understand that well being abounds apart from all conditions, that joy is moving in a continuous flow all around you all the time and that when you make your joy contingent upon any circumstance or any situation or any change you are seeking then you are actually moving yourself out of that flow, out of that stream of well being.
When you make your joy conditional, when you say to yourself, I will only be happy if or I will only be happy when . . . then you are beginning to separate yourself from who you really are and what you really know . . . And Source cannot join you in that thought or that belief. Source knows—and the part of you that is connected to Source knows—that well being flows no matter what . . . that nothing you want or don’t want can disrupt or disturb that flow no matter how convinced you may be that your happiness depends upon it . . . that the only way you can feel desperation or discouragement or frustration or fear is for you to decide that without this condition or that condition changing, well being is not available to you.
No matter how upset you are. No matter how distressed or lonely or discouraged or abandoned you feel . . . Source is always waiting for you to remember the joy that never stops flowing . . . the joy that is never contingent upon any circumstance or situation. Source is always waiting for you to remember that nothing you want or don’t want, nothing that has come to you or not come to you, nothing going on or not going on . . . can ever separate you from that joy unless you choose to believe that it can only flow to the extent that those conditions are met.
So no matter how bad you are feeling, it is okay to feel it. Source never blames or judges or condemns or punishes you for your rage or your despair or your worry—only you do that. Source always waits for you to remember that all is well no matter what you are observing, no matter how long you have been waiting for something to improve, and no matter how much you persist in your focus upon what is lacking.
Source waits for you to turn around and see who You really are . . . see the perfection you are part of . . . see that nothing you feel you lack changes the abundance that is available, even if where you’re standing, all you can feel is the frustration of not yet receiving it.
Notice your feelings. Pay attention to what they are telling you. Allow yourself to feel what you feel but with the understanding that those bad feelings are always your guidance to turn around . . . to see yourself the way You really are . . . to see All That Is in all the perfection that it is . . . to see that nothing you think you need to be happy is more important than being as happy as you can possibly be wherever you are.
I hear it. I even kinda sorta comprehend it. I know there’s something deeply true in it. I really really want to swallow it . . . but for now all I can promise to do is chew on it . . . and get back to you.
Sometimes that’s just the best any of us can do. And for now, that’s as close to complete as it’s going to get.